Dating apps have changed everything we know about dating
As if dating was challenging enough, dating apps have completely changed the dating game. Recently, I decided to give dating apps a try. I’ve never been the type to feel lonely, or want to rush into a relationship, and in fact, I’ve preferred being single for the past two years. I’ve always felt that rushing into a relationship that wasn’t right for me would be a waste of my 20s, and therefore I’ve put little to no effort into meeting someone. Lately, however, I’ve realized I’d like to put myself out there so that I’m not rusty when the time comes to actually settle down (super huge eye roll on my end, btw.).
Are dating apps better for dating…or worse?
I was nudged towards a few dating apps, namely the major players: Tinder and Bumble. I flat out refused to try Tinder because yuck, and opted for Bumble instead. After doing a little research, I discovered that the Bumble creator is a super badass feminist who wants to empower women through dating. After a few days of swiping, I heard of another dating app that I decided to give a try: Hinge. The premise is very similar to most dating apps, except for the fact that you can “like” someone’s pictures or pieces of information about themselves (for example, I stated you are most likely to find me at the party wherever the dog is. Cue many “likes”).
I’d been swiping left and (alas, rarely) right for a few weeks when it dawned on me that these dating apps are not a real representation of the type of man I’d like to date, nor the type of person I’d like to be.
Dating apps can make us shallow
As I sit on my couch swiping left to so many singles, I can’t help but think how shallow I’m being. How can I reject so many men without knowing anything more than a few pictures and a short caption? These apps have made me beyond picky. In fact, I just swiped left because it looked like a guy had gone hiking in converse (I mean really. Hiking in converse?! What kind of a monster…).
It’s nearly impossible to develop a connection based on such a narrow lens. How can you decide, in the span of a few seconds, whether or not you might have a connection with someone based on a few pictures? When I thought about it, I realized that there had been so many times in the past where I’d developed feelings for someone based on the parts of them that could never be revealed on a dating app. I’ve met guys in the real world that I felt an immediate connection to that, had I seen them on a dating app, I would have swiped left. It makes me wonder how many awesome guys I could have met had I not been so caught up in the fact that they were wearing converse hiking (can’t get over that one… sorry).
When I interviewed some singles in their twenties (lol okay just my friends), I realized I wasn’t the only one with hesitations. Some stated they felt no “connection” and therefore didn’t feel obligated to follow through with conversations nor meetups. Others felt that dating apps weren’t the best place to meet genuine men, and instead worried they’d meet the guys only interested in a “hook up”. One responder (ok! My friend!!!) claimed she liked it for meeting people in big cities, which can help with much more than just dating.
Dating apps give us endless options
Although there are plenty of downfalls to dating apps, they do hold the key to opening a few doors we previously didn’t have the keys for. Whether or not you decide to use a dating app as a means of finding the perfect relationship, you’re bound to make a few friends along the way. Not to mention all of the success stories that have surfaced due to dating apps.
Dating apps: friend or foe?
Dating apps have their ups and downs. I’d like to argue that dating apps shouldn’t be the end all be all in the dating world. They don’t give us the full picture of a who a person really is, and they make us pick people based on ideals that may not leave us with the best candidates (i.e. looks and a witty caption). Oftentimes we’re stuck with the bottom of the barrel men who choose to log on to find someone to warm their bed for the night. Dating apps aren’t perfect, but then again, is the dating world ever perfect?